A good friend called me the other day. Did her boyfriend break up with her the day before and now? I was sick as a dog. “My life sucks,” he croaked. “It’s not bad enough that they abandoned me … now I have the flu.”
Sounds familiar? If you’re like my friend, breakups literally make you physically sick. I’ve seen it happen with my relationship coaching clients … heck, I’ve been through it myself. If you are dealing with a breakup and have what I call “Breakup Flu,” read on. I’ll tell you exactly why you feel bad and how to start feeling better quickly.
Is it normal to get physically sick after a breakup?
Everyone knows that breakups are stressful. What some people don’t know is how stress affects their body. Your immune system crashes, leaving you vulnerable to catching whatever bugs are circulating. Not only that, stress brings its own symptoms. These are the most common physical symptoms that I have seen (and experienced) that appear after a breakup:
- Accelerated heart
- stomachache
- throwing up
- Headaches
- insomnia
- numbness in hands, fingers, feet
- cold / flu symptoms: cough, congestion, fever, aches and pains
How to get over feeling sick after a breakup
The stress and anxiety of your breakup are causing your symptoms. Here’s how to treat stress so your symptoms go away quickly:
1. Take a day or two off. Breakup flu is reason to report you’re sick (but don’t tell them that’s what you have!) You’ll need some time to focus on taking care of yourself, and the added stress of work doesn’t help. So you need …
2. Learn to relax. Find what works for your body and mind to release tension. If your mind begins to race and you feel physical anxiety, stop and breathe deeply or do some light exercise. If you are in pain, lie down with a heating pad or take a hot bath. Distract your mind: read magazines, do a hobby you like, or watch funny movies (or, if you’re like my friend, crime shows … American Justice’s Bill Curtis makes her feel better!). If all else fails, sleep. . Which brings me to …
3. Cut out the caffeine. Coffee, energy drinks, and sodas contain caffeine, which will increase your heart rate, keep you awake, and increase the nerves in your stomach. If you must have caffeine, try the tea or have a half coffee. Or, limit yourself to one caffeinated drink per day and keep the rest decaf. If you have trouble sleeping, try “relaxing” herbal teas or supplements that contain valerian root, chamomile, catnip, or lavender.
4. Avoid sugar and junk food. Loading up ‘comfort food’ may make you feel better emotionally (for about a minute), but it’s not doing your body any favors. Cakes, candy, and potato chips don’t have the nutrients you need to get your immune system back on track. But at the same time …
5. You have to eat. Stick to nutritious things: meats, vegetables, fruits, eggs. If you are like me and have no appetite when stressed, try the soups (chicken soup is good). Taking a daily multivitamin is also a good idea. If your stomach is really upset, peppermint or ginger tea will help ease it.