I’m just going to say it: I hate when people don’t say “No.” I understand that this may seem strange at first glance. Shouldn’t I prefer people to say “Yes”? Not quite. What I prefer is that people speak with honesty and integrity. Sometimes that means saying “no”, and that’s a good thing.
In today’s world, it doesn’t seem to matter who you are; politicians, business owners, customer service representatives, teachers, parents, prospects, hiring managers … no one wants to say no. In fact, most people go out of their way to have to say no. Society tells us that we are just being polite, but I contend that it is, in fact, extremely impolite not to say no. Politicians lose their moral and ethical values trying to appease everyone. A business owner expects his employees to work overtime because he cannot say no to the unreasonable demand of a customer. A customer service representative moves around tough questions, which further frustrates the customer, but never politely says no. A potential customer keeps wasting the salesperson’s time because they don’t want to insult the salesperson with a “no.” A job seeker eagerly awaits the promised, but never received, phone call about the job.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:37, “Just let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” We complicate our world and throw away our sincerity by not speaking clearly and with certainty. But let’s not just analyze the second part. Jesus teaches that it is wrong, misleading and false to avoid a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Our society is suffering today because no one knows who or what to trust. Nobody speaks clearly anymore. The result is a culture focused on self-preservation, fear, and uncertainty. With no one to trust, all we can do is protect ourselves, suspect everyone, and pray or hope for a better tomorrow.
A better tomorrow cannot begin until you and I are willing to be sincere and honest enough to say no. I’m not talking about taking a position saying “no” to the direction our society is going or to some important political or cultural issue. I’m literally talking about just saying “no” in everyday life. When a customer asks a question or request that you can’t fulfill, just say no. When the salesperson calls for the 15th time, don’t say maybe later, say no; that moves to greener pastures. Call the poor applicant who was waiting for your call a week ago and tell him you didn’t get the job, after all you promised you would. Is it better to break a promise or say no? Is it more ethical to convince people or say no? Is better customer service confusing customers through layers of policies, exceptions, and rules, or is it more effective to say no?
People yearn for strong leaders, sincere teachers, moral business, and honest answers to simple questions. People yearn to speak frankly and there is nothing more upright than saying “no.” So the next time you feel your stomach begin to turn at the thought of having to say “no”, remember that it is not the problem; the problem is all the walls that we put between our answer and the word no. People don’t normally get offended by a direct and honest response. However, they are always offended by being ignored, misled, lied to, or abused by all of our polite tactics that we use to avoid simply saying no.