They say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I’m pretty sure no one who heard this felt better afterwards. With that said, let’s talk about rejection. If you are in sales long enough, you will experience rejection.

Rejection can make your heart race, your palms sweat, and your body go into fight or flight mode. This is because the fear we experience today has the same effect on our bodies as the fear of being eaten so long ago. Humans traveled in tribes long ago to avoid being eaten by predators. Occasionally someone was rejected by the tribe and left to fend for themselves. They didn’t last long.

So, you see, the fear of rejection is quite old and still very real in our minds, even if we no longer care about being eaten alive.

rejection is personal

When we experience rejection, the emotions we feel can range from humiliation to anger. Either we get angry with ourselves or with the rejecter. Neither of these feelings is productive and leaves us in a bad mood, sometimes setting the tone for that day or more. Some of us take rejection seriously and think we’re not good enough. These feelings can last a lifetime. I had a student who experienced rejection in fifth grade from a girl, and that fear traveled into adulthood and terrified him of the rejection that comes with sales. There is a way to conquer this fear if this sounds familiar to you.

Rejection is a form of one-sided communication.

When we communicate effectively, we share information. Rejection is a partial exchange, or so the rejected feel. The seller asks and the buyer says no, sometimes in a not-so-subtle way. The way buyers turn down an offer says a lot about the person in general. It’s not you; are they

Laugh about it; help with rejection

When we are rejected, our brain releases an opioid similar to what we get when we experience physical pain. We also experience this chemical release when we laugh. If we can find humor in the situation and allow ourselves to laugh; we get a double dose of endorphins that make us feel good, lessening the pain of being rejected.

It’s a numbers game

Recently, leaders in the sales training community questioned whether sales is a numbers game. Sales is definitely a numbers game, the more no’s you get, the higher the chances of hearing a yes. You’ll also get better at the art of persuasion, learning what worked when you heard it did, and learning what’s really valuable to your buyer. When you know what works, write it down. I train salespeople and tell them to keep a sales diary. A simple notebook that you leave in your car will work. If you don’t know what worked, how will you create a repeatable and sustainable path to success?

ask why

You have been rejected, and now you are running for your life! This is the best time to ask why, you’ll learn a lot about your sales process, your buyers, and more. What do you have to lose? They already rejected you. The best part is that rejection is sometimes an automatic defense mechanism in the buyer’s mind. When you ask them why, they don’t even know why, which makes them think and talk to you, and sometimes they end up saying yes! I swear I’ve seen this happen more than once when a seller has the nerve to ask why.

What is your supporting question?

Have you ever thought about what to ask for that could be a minor commitment? Think of alternative options that the buyer might find valuable. When you offer options, this creates the opportunity to say no to this, but yes to that. Give it a try and see how many times you get a backup plan to be successful. Some examples of a great endorsement request are referrals, a less expensive option, or reviewing the decision to buy in the future. By asking why the buyer refused, you’ll know which option is right for your alternate plan.

People are nicer than you think

Can people be idiots? Bet! However, most people are very friendly. If you’ve been rejected, you’ll find that the rejector doesn’t like rejecting you more than he likes being rejected (it’s not you, it’s the question). While some people might use a classy pushback class, you’ll find the pushback slingshots and arrows aren’t as bad as your mind has imagined. The best part; Nothing will come out of the bush to eat you! I promise.

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