“My boyfriend won’t return my calls and I want to know why.” Unfortunately, many women wonder about this when they are in a dating relationship. It’s frustrating being with a great guy who just won’t call you back when he says she will. As much as we try to unravel this confusing puzzle, it is not that easy. If you’re with a man who does this, you might wonder if he’s as crazy about you as he says he is. What you need to do if this is becoming a problem in your relationship is understand why your boyfriend isn’t calling and what steps you need to take, starting today, to change that behavior so he calls more often.

If your boyfriend isn’t returning your calls, the reason may not be as sinister as you think. He probably isn’t ignoring you on purpose, and there’s a good chance he’s not deliberately trying to make you feel rejected. Most men don’t return calls for a couple of reasons. The first is that they just don’t remember to do it. This usually happens when a couple has been together for a while and the relationship has become routine. If he knows you love him and he thinks you know he loves you, he just won’t consider the call that important. He is no longer in the phase of trying to impress you, so other things will often take precedence on his mind. The other reason many men don’t return calls is because they know their girlfriend will make the call. If she has shown through her past behavior that if he doesn’t call, she will, he will be less inclined to make the call.

The easiest way to fix a problem like this is to change your own behavior. Talking to your boyfriend and explaining how much it hurts you that he doesn’t call you will probably put him on the defensive and put up an emotional wall. Instead, stop calling him so often. If he promises you a call and doesn’t deliver, don’t pick up the slack. Don’t pick up the phone to call him. Instead, let him call, whenever that may be. If you do this multiple times, his behavior will change. This is much more effective and much less combative than confronting him with demands about why he isn’t more attentive. In a case like this, actions really speak louder than words.

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