Our brains are strangely shaped and very capable of allowing us to cope with almost anything that comes our way. Looking back a month or two before I was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia, I can now clearly see the signs that were right in front of me. Of course, my very capable brain was able to create a perfectly logical explanation for each of my symptoms.
Probably one of the first symptoms I noticed and dismissed was my massively swollen spleen. I remember lying in bed one night reading; I said to Joe, “You know, things don’t seem to fit here like they used to.” I just didn’t feel like I could get comfortable and that the “stuff” was piled up on the left side of my abdomen; under my left ribcage. It felt tight to the touch, but it also felt thick, like a muscle. He didn’t hurt me and most of the time I didn’t even realize he was there.
The second symptom I noticed was probably the fact that I was a little more tired than usual. That symptom was easily ruled out since Joe and I are always on the go. Our feet hit the ground running every morning and don’t stop until we go to bed. That, coupled with the fact that I would soon be 52, I just chalked up being tired, doing too much and “old age”!
The third symptom was that I seemed to be short of breath when I danced. December was a very busy dance month for us as we prepared to dance at the UCWDC World Championships in Nashville, Tennessee the first week of January. That year was the first year that I competed in anything in my life. We were competing in the Pro/Am division and I was the Am. Dancing was something I had wanted to do all my life and had finally started learning how to dance a few years earlier. Joe and I met when I took a class he was teaching at a dance convention and we are now competing in the pro/am category.
So back to my drowning; We compete in eight dances and as we practice our routines, it’s typical to go through them one after the other for an hour straight. I started running out of gas during practice several months before the Worlds. When I was racing I wondered what the elevation of Nashville was as I was a little out of breath dancing there. I didn’t know if it was the elevation or my nerves, but I did notice that I was a little short of breath after each dance. After competing at World’s, we take a short break from practice; when we resumed, I told Joe that I found it strange how quickly I ran out of breath. I had to stop between routines to catch my breath. I put it down to being out of shape and lazy for the last three weeks. Of course, I now know that it was a symptom of my leukemia. I got eighth place in my division at World’s; but I just know that if I hadn’t had leukemia, I would have gotten there first! And no, there weren’t just eight in my division, there were twenty-four competitors.
My fourth symptom was the bruise. Now I must preface this with the fact that I am very clumsy and always bruised. I never remember where I got them; I just know they are there. However, looking back, this bruise was different. The bruises on my body, just before I was diagnosed with CML, were a bit strange. It seemed to have more of them and they seemed to last longer. They were also hard to the touch; like a lump under the skin. (This was due to an overabundance of white blood cells.) They appeared with a lighter thump or bump than before. I noticed them and chided myself to start being more careful. The strange thing about this symptom is that I KNOW it can be a sign of leukemia. When my daughter was only four years old, I took her to the doctor and insisted that she be checked for leukemia because she was always covered in bruises. Yes she was a tomboy and no I didn’t hit her! It amazes me that I never linked the bruises to the leukemia inside of me.
The fifth symptom was probably the headaches. I had been getting headaches in the back of my head for quite some time. I chalked it up to needing to update and change my eyeglass prescription. The headaches seemed more frequent at night, while watching TV or reading, or while working on the computer. In other words, while concentrating. Yeah I know, drain the brain! I made an appointment to see an optometrist on January 13, 2011. During my eye exam, while looking into my eyes with that very bright light, the doctor asked me three questions. “Do you have high blood pressure?” I replied, “No, I have low blood pressure.” “Do you have diabetes?” I replied again: “No, not that I know of.” “Are you anemic?” Once again I replied: “No, not that I know of”, “Why?” “You’re scaring me, should I be scared?” He replied, “Well, you have a significant amount of blood in your eyes.” Of course I freaked out a bit and asked what it could mean. He said that he wasn’t sure, but he assured me that I wouldn’t go blind, but he also said that I should make an appointment to see a retina specialist within the next month or so.
Now you must remember that I have been dealing with Cipro poisoning for the last nine months. My immediate reaction was that this could also be related to Cipro. I went directly to the pharmacist and told him what the ophthalmologist had said and asked him what he thought. He agreed that it could most likely be related to Cirpo, since Cipro doesn’t just affect muscles, joints, and tendons; it can also affect your vascular system. That in combination with all the ibuprofen I had been taking for muscle pain, my vascular system could be compromised and my blood could be thinned and cause bleeding in my eyes. I left disgusted and prayed it wasn’t Cipro related because if it was there was nothing that could be done. Moral of that story, be careful what you wish for and be very specific when sending sentences!
The sixth symptom was night sweats. I had been having night sweats for about six weeks and would wake up clammy and cold. I was constantly kicking the covers off and then putting them back on, all night. This of course I related to hormones. It was obvious and I would talk to my doctor about it at my next appointment.
Number seven was the bite-like rash that I suddenly started getting on my torso. You know the first thing I did was wash my sheets and check the bed for bedbugs. I was convinced that we must have them and that I was sweeter than Joe, because he didn’t have any of the bites! You guessed it, there are no bed bugs. I hadn’t changed detergent and I hadn’t been camping. My skin is still very sensitive and I really just want to run naked all the time since clothes drive me crazy. Let’s hope the phase passes!
The last and last symptom, and probably the one that would have sent me to the doctor eventually, was the extreme satiety I felt when I ate; and my funny blood. It was Super Bowl Sunday, and he had a routine doctor’s appointment in two days. Joe and I were viciously trying to finish our yard work before the Super Bowl started. I was mowing the front lawn while he was moving his butt. I remember finishing one side and looking at the other thinking, I just can’t do it! I was pooped and had to force myself to finish mowing the lawn. I kept thinking about what a baby I was being, since he had mowed the front and back before and never tired of me. I convinced myself to finish cutting and while doing so I pricked my arm with a rose thorn. It started to bleed and I ignored it. Joe had finished the backyard and had come to check on him. He had already finished mowing the lawn and was putting the mower in the garage. We both looked at my blood and thought it looked “weird.” We both said, “That doesn’t look good.” It was kind of an orange color, not really red. I still had no idea; my brain and common sense in total denial.
Joe started the barbecue and I made a salad and vegetables. We sat down to eat and in four bites I was full. I thought that was strange since I usually eat a lot more, but I thought my lunch was still with me. Being that Joe works for Anheuser-Busch, of course we drink beer on the rocks. I found it strange that it took me practically an hour to drink just one beer. The Super Bowl was over and it was still miserably crowded. I couldn’t even go to bed until midnight because I felt like a stuffed pig. I was so miserable. Do you think by now I would have a clue that something was terribly wrong? Looking back, I can hardly believe I didn’t.
So, as a summary; my symptoms included fullness due to swollen spleen, eye bleeds due to capillaries being blocked and ruptured by excess white blood cells, shortness of breath, strange blood, tiredness, bruising, night sweats, skin rash and headaches frequent head. All this I easily explained and none of them interfered with my everyday life. Hey!