For those of you who often wonder why your partner wants to date, I’ve tried to find three easy ways that will almost ensure the destruction of a close relationship. They are, in no particular order: 1) Fill your relationship jar to the brim with sand; 2) park your car in your neighbor’s garage; and 3) Cry a lot “wolf”.
Get two mason jars of the same size. Next to both place a half gallon of sand and a half gallon of pebbles that are each about half the diameter. Using the first jar, fill it to the top with sand. Gently shake it a bit and fill it again. Using the second jar, fill it with pebbles to the brim. Shake it gently and try to put some more pebbles on it. Now back to the first jar. Try to put some of the pebbles in the jar. You can not! Using the second jar, carefully begin sprinkling sand, gently shaking as you go. You’ll be amazed at how much sand you can fit in. The jars represent the problems in your relationship. Sand represents minor problems, while pebbles represent major problems. You see, if you fill your relationship jar with sand – minor problems, you don’t have room to put pebbles – major problems. If you constantly bring up minor issues in your relationship, you’ll never get a chance to address the major issues, which is sure to end the relationship.
Your neighbor has a wonderful-looking garage. His garage seems a bit crowded and you’re getting tired of him, so why don’t you open the garage next door and park his car? How do you think your neighbor would react? How do you think the people in your house would react? How would the rest of your neighbors react? DO NOT park your car in someone else’s garage. He will probably get hit a lot and the people in his house will not be very happy. It’s called limits. Infidelity is one of the biggest relationship killers.
Do you remember that fairy tale about the boy who cried wolf a lot? When the wolf really came and cried wolf, no one came and ate him. No one trusted him anymore. No one could tell when he was telling the truth or when he was lying. Her trust in him had been violated. The result was that his relationship with others had vanished. Relationships are largely based on mutual trust. Without trust there is instability. People become hypervigilant and always suspicious. Fuck me once, what a shame. Fuck me twice, I’m ashamed. People don’t like to feel cheated. When you violate trust, you are ruining a relationship.
Unfortunately, some people do not just one of the above, but two or even all three. Of course, when you ask these people if they knew their behavior could cause a problem in your relationship, they will always tell you that they did. However, if you ask them since they knew why they did those behaviors anyway, most will come up with an excuse that is best left in a cow pasture.
Much of life is filled with warning signs much like road signs: stop signs; dangerous curves; crosswalk; Speed limits; exit signs; etc. Just like driving, if you don’t heed the message on those signs, you risk minor, moderate or severe consequences, not only for yourself but also for those around you. Pay attention and pay attention to the warning signs of life. Your relationship will be much healthier.