Working mom or housewife? When I was a working mom, all I could think about was spending more time with my son and now that I’m a stay at home mom, I think about how horrible it is to be financially dependent. The devil of the mind will always look for greener pastures in the things that he does not have. So the only way I know of to take charge of the wild horses is to do some introspection and visit the ordered list of priorities at any given time.
There is a huge database on the internet about working moms versus stay at home moms. Now that I’ve experienced a bit of both worlds, I must say that each has its pros and cons to it and it’s really personal. As a working mom, the common lunch table arguments with my colleagues who were moms were the perpetual lack of time available to do the enviable things stay-at-home moms do: spend time with the kids, take care of the house, and cook. and find hobbies. Now that I am a stay-at-home mom who regularly takes my son out to play at night, I know other moms who were also working women, and many times the favorite topic of discussion is the desire to return to work.
I guess it’s only the women who have to face this decision and never the man. The females of all species on the planet are primarily responsible for raising the young. It does not mean that the male is incapable. It is natural that the one who gives birth is the one who has an unbreakable bond formed with the child from a fetal stage and perhaps therefore the primary responsibility.
A few generations ago, let’s say even a generation ago when my mother was a mother my age, most women were quite comfortable with the fact that after graduation comes marriage and then home and children. That was his life and quite simple. There was a clear division of responsibilities, the woman as caregiver and the man as provider. Complications began when women decided to enter the men’s camp and began to take on equal responsibilities to earn their bread as well. With the added responsibilities there has been a change in parenting practices. These have also brought about a change in man’s responsibilities.
From two generations ago, where most men would refrain from housework, today’s men help with cooking, cleaning, laundry, and various household chores. If women have so easily accepted and conquered the additional responsibilities outside the home, why is it so difficult to shed the emotional baggage that comes with committing to parenting firsthand? While we have evolved and adapted quite well to the newly acquired responsibilities away from home, we will have to wait and see how we evolve on the emotional front. Getting rid of this baggage is still a long way to go.