Whenever I meet other families with young children, almost invariably, there will be one or two parents struggling with their children’s sleep. Problems range from frequent waking to too frequent feedings to sleeping in the parent’s bed. So it’s no wonder why so many adults in this country suffer from a myriad of sleep problems. Perhaps this is also why sleeping pills are one of the most popular drugs in this country and why children as young as 7 are prescribed sleeping pills to help them fall asleep. Although it’s hard to admit it, America has become the land of the free and the home of the… insomniacs.
Resources to get your child to sleep
These days, many households with young children endure daily battles with sleep. It’s not that parents aren’t equipped with the right information. in fact, the number of resources and books that focus on getting your child to sleep has doubled, if not tripled, in the last 2-3 years. Insomnia is no longer the problem reserved for the old and restless. It is now one of the most serious problems that parents of young children face every night.
Ten years ago, with our first son Jonas, we only had about a third of the resources we have now to put your son to sleep. At that time, the technique of Dr. Richard Ferber was in vogue. Despite his slight tinge of 1950s style rigidity and inflexibility, his concepts made the most sense to us and we agreed with his main tenet that children should and can be taught how to calm down to go back to sleep Essentially, “ferberization” is a gradual desensitization process. With this technique we were able to teach Jonas to sleep through the night (10 hours) at around 4 months. Since then, this method of teaching our other two children to sleep has been a lifesaver for both their health and our sanity.
Of course, just because this method worked for me doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. Every baby and what appeals to parents is different. Even for us, there were nights when my wife would cry outside the bedroom door, along with the baby, conflicted by her instinct to jump in to comfort our son and her desire to teach him to calm down only to go back to sleep as directed. prescribed by Dr. Ferber.
What ultimately did it for us was that we believed in and desperately needed a good night’s sleep. As simple as it sounds, back then we knew what so much research and study tells us now: that poor sleep can lead to a host of health problems if not handled early.
As parents of young children, it’s sometimes hard to know how much sleep your child needs. Some people say it’s better to let nature take its course, let the child determine for himself how much or how little sleep he needs. In my case this would never have worked as our oldest son only slept, prior to ferberization, 10-15 minutes at a time.
With kids, going natural, like breastfeeding instead of bottle feeding, cooking your own baby food instead of feeding them processed foods from jars is infinitely better. However, sometimes, given certain situations, parents need to reassess from time to time what it takes to hold on to those ideals. It is important, in other words, not to lose sight of the forest for the trees.
when the dream escapes
When my brother had his first child, the situation was very different. In the four years since I had my oldest son, the baby movement was in full swing. At the time, most pediatricians considered it correct to suggest that his son sleep for two to three hours, even at night. What was most important was that the child was breastfed on demand, even between 9 and 12 months, when solid foods should have lessened the frequency of these nocturnal feedings.
Her eldest daughter, as a result, often slept in her bed until she was 3 or 4 years old. It was much easier for my sister-in-law to breastfeed right then and there for a few more minutes of sleep, instead of getting up every 2-3 hours to get the baby out of the crib. Even now, at 6 years old, my niece doesn’t “sleep well”. Worse still, her sister, who just turned 3, recently woke up several times during the night.
Another woman I met is experiencing similar problems with her 8 month old baby. Her baby has recently been waking up two or three times a night to nurse even though she slept through the night at 3 months. Another couple I met recently complained that their 5-year-old son still wakes up 3-4 times a night. In general, children should be able to sleep through the night after 3 to 6 months. It is obvious that these guidelines are not the norm.
Pediatric problems related to lack of sleep
Believe me when I say that I am the last person to make moral judgments about parents with children who do not sleep. If anything, I wrote an entire book explaining why and how adults and children are getting less and less sleep. Learn more at http://www.sleepinterrupted.com.
It’s not that what they’re doing is wrong, but that the child’s poor sleep habits ultimately affect not only the parents, but studies have shown that childhood sleep problems have been linked to several serious health problems. in the future.
One such study showed that the presence of sleep problems between ages 3 and 8 strongly predicted the onset of alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana use later in life for boys and alcohol use for girls. Another Finnish study showed that perceived tiredness was related to the use of psychoactive substances in adolescents. Other studies have shown that sleep problems are related to anxiety and depression in adolescents. Children with trouble sleeping and breathing also had a higher incidence of inattention and hyperactivity.
How to put your child to sleep
The most important thing to start when helping your child develop good sleep hygiene is to develop a sleep routine that both of you can consistently stick to. Feeding times, nap times, and bedtimes should be kept as close to schedule as possible. As any parent of young children can tell you, a night out with the baby or a severe cold can severely disrupt not only the child’s sleep patterns, but those of the entire family as well. Last month, when Kathy and I were at the movies (our kids were with our babysitter), I was upset to see so many babies and toddlers with their parents watching an action-packed movie at 11:30 p.m. The worst part was that they were eating popcorn and drinking caffeinated sodas.
These days, cutting back on any form of stimulation right before bed can be challenging. Cell phones, computers, cable TV, and all of the loud and annoying children’s toys can be difficult to fully control. But even the activities you do during the day can affect your sleep. A recent study showed that for every hour a child is sedentary during the day, whether it’s watching TV or on the computer or even reading, it takes an additional three minutes to fall asleep at night. A related ad hoc study showed that children who were more active during the day, played outside or participated in sports activities, fell asleep faster and slept more at night than children who were more inactive. Bottom line, turn off the TV if you want your child to sleep better.
Sugar is also blamed for various sleep and health problems today. It’s common sense to avoid a brownie or soda right before bed. Eating healthier in general can promote better sleep in general.
Once your child is past the infant stage, he should be able to sleep through the night after a hearty dinner. But she doesn’t feed him just before bed. Eating too close to bedtime affects hormones that affect weight, appetite, and metabolism. This is true even for adults. In these situations, if you have even a slight sleep and breathing problem (24% of men and 9% of women), then the juices are sucked into your throat, not only waking you up, but causing various throat symptoms such as soreness sore throat, post-nasal drip, chronic cough and hoarseness.
An underlying problem with breathing during sleep can also be a major cause of sleep problems, especially between the ages of 3 to 6 years. Large tonsils and adenoids are very common at this age, and if your child’s breathing is in any way difficult, or if he snores, or breathes through his mouth, see your pediatrician, especially if your child seems to be tired all the time. , or have trouble staying focused or concentrating during the day. If either parent snores or stops breathing, then there is even more reason to suspect an underlying sleep breathing problem.
For the many other problems that can arise, help is available. Go beyond the generic information that is available on sites like WebMD or the Mayo Clinic site. Invest in books, DVDs, or professional advice for your child’s sleep needs, as well as your own sleep needs. Set a good example by following good sleep habits yourself. Ask your friends who have been successful what works for them and don’t give up. Trust me, being able to consistently get a good night’s sleep is well worth the effort.